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What is a mentor?
To make it a more personal, a MENTOR is an individual who supports another's endeavors, not explicitly to change that person's behavior or character.

A mentor is a GUIDE who helps someone with things that they (the mentor) have learned through life and life's experiences. A mentor can be extremely important to someone who has not yet gone through some of life's struggles and even equally important to someone who has gone through a great deal of turmoil and desires to get out or avoid the experience again.

One of the most important parts of being a mentor is the fact that the mentor still continues to learn. This fact makes the mentor-mentee relationship a two way learning experience. Both can and will learn. By continuing to grow the mentor can effectively help others to grow.

A mentor is a MODEL. Most of us live our lives as everyday citizens. There is usually no one person or persons that keep us accountable for our actions or behaviors. To think or believe that you or anyone else lives a flawless life is unrealistic and to a teenager, it is hypocritical.

Being a mentor opens your life to another person for scrutiny. They will be able to see or detect flaws and shortcomings. They will see the everyday mistakes that an individual makes particularly, you, the mentor. So it is important to understand that a mentee will be watching you closely. The behavior you display can, and hopefully will, if it is indeed positive, impact the life of the mentee. A mentor walks what they talk. In today's world an average teen sees just the opposite. This doesn't mean to pretend to be someone you are not. This doesn't mean that you have to be somewhat perfect to be a mentor. On the contrary, be honest with who you are. Honesty is sometimes a missing commodity in a young person's life.

A mentor is a GUARANTOR. This would be a mentor who accepts the student for who he or she is and creating a safe place to be oneself. This enables one to express their true feelings and experiment if needed. Remember this, a person is free to grow when they experience the respect of a guarantor who supports their search to find themselves. Understanding and love are the key elements to express in this stage because young people do no need someone telling them that they are wrong or crazy to even think certain things. Encourage, don't discourage.

Lastly, a mentor is a FRIEND. To really get a good handle on what a friend should be, identify to yourself what you expect of a friend. A friend listens intently. A friend cares about what concerns another. A friend would find pleasure in what another likes or enjoys. A friend shares. A friend spends time nurturing a relationship. A friend gets excited to be with a friend.

Excerpts taken from ONE AT A TIME: A Mentoring Program To Equip The Local Church To Mentor Teens And Their Families. Copyright © 1997.

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